Unknown TV theme song lyrics

Remember when TV shows used to have theme songs? Remember the ones you could sing along to? Shows like Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch & I Dream of Jeannie? What? You don't know the words to I Dream of Jeannie? Well, most people don't. I'm listing here a bunch of TV shows with theme song lyrics that most people don't even know exist! Since I mentioned Jeannie first:

I DREAM OF JEANNIE

Jeannie, fresh as a daisy.
Just love how she obeys me,
Does things that just amaze me so.

She smiles, Presto the rain goes.
She blinks, up come the rainbows.
Cars stop, even the train goes slow.

When she goes by
She paints sunshine on every rafter,
Sprinkles the air with laughter,
We're close as a quarter after three.

There's no one like

Jeannie. I'll introduce her,
To you, but it's no use, sir,
Cause my Jeannie's in love with me.

Notes: Love how she obeys me? Sexist much?

Andy Griffith Show

Well, now, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,
We may not get a bite all day, but don't you rush away.

What a great place to rest your bones and mighty fine for skippin' stones,
You'll feel fresh as a lemonade, a-settin' in the shade.

Whether it's hot, whether it's cool, oh what a spot for whistlin' like a fool.

What a fine day to take a stroll and wander by The Fishin' Hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.

We'll have no need to call the roll when we get to The Fishin' Hole,
There'll be you, me, and Old Dog Trey, to doodle time away.

If we don't hook a perch or bass, we'll cool our toes in dewy grass,
Or else pull up a weed to chaw, and maybe set and jaw.

Hangin' around, takin' our ease, watchin' that hound a-scratchin' at his fleas.

Come on, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.

Notes: I guess whistling is for fools or something.

Bewitched

Bewitched, Bewitched,
You've got me in your spell.
Bewitched, Bewitched,
You know your craft so well.
Before I knew what I was doing
I looked in your eyes
That brand of woo you've been brewin'
Took me by surprise.

You witch, you witch,
One thing is for sure.
That stuff you pitch
Just hasn't got a cure.
My heart was under lock and key,
But somehow it got unhitched.
I never thought that I could be had
But now I'm caught and I'm kinda glad
To be Bewitched.

Notes: I actually have a sung version by Peggy Lee. Pretty cool!

Bonanza

We got a right to pick a little fight
Bonanza!
If anyone fights anyone of us
He's gotta fight with me!

We're not a one to saddle up and run,
Bonanza!
Anyone of us who starts a little fuss
knows he can count on me!

One for four
Four for one,
This we guarantee.

We got a right to pick a little fight
Bonanza!
If anyone fights anyone of us
He's gotta fight with me!

Notes: To see someone sing this, check out John Leguizamo in "The Pest".

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Notes: This is the full theme song. The only time the whole song was played was during the first three episodes. Try to catch it on re-runs.

Hogan's Heroes

Heroes, heroes, husky men of war,
Sons of all the heroes, of the war before.
We're all heroes up to our ear o's
You ask questions
We make suggestions
That's what we're heroes for.

All good heroes love a good, big fight
Open up the bomb bays and brighten up the night.
We applaud the people who laud us,
You pull the roses,
We punch the noses,
That's what we're heroes for.

What's a hero do?
Well, we're not gonna tell ya
Cause we wish we knew.
That's why we heroes are so few.
We've got a slogan
From Colonel Hogan
And Colonel Hogan's a hero too.

Never flinch, boys, never be afraid,
Heroes are not born, boys, heroes are made.
Ask not why, boys, never say die, boys,
Answer the call, remember we'll all be heroes forever more.

Notes: Apparently heroes are husky. That's a nice way of saying fat.

I Love Lucy

There's a certain couple that I know.
They're strictly lovebirds,
A pair of turtle dove birds.
He's a guy who wants the world to know.
So ev'ry day
You'll hear him say

I Love Lucy and she loves me,
We're as happy as two can be,
sometimes we quarrel but then again
How we love making up again.

Lucy kisses like no one can,
She's my missus and I'm her man;
And life is heaven you see
Cause I Love Lucy
Yes I Love Lucy
and Lucy loves me.

Notes: Desi Arnaz sings this in one of the episodes.

Leave it to Beaver

Hey! Here they come with a rum-tee tum they're having a toy parade.
A tin giraffe with a fife and drum is leading the kewpie parade.
A gingham cat in a soldier's hat is waving a Chinese fan,
A plastic clown in a wedding gown is dancing with Raggedy Ann.

Fee fie fiddle dee dee they're crossing the living room floor
Fee fie fiddle dee dee they're up to the dining room door.

They call a halt for a choc'late malt or cookies and lemonade
Then off they go with a ho ho ho right back to their toy brigade.

Notes: I guess when you think toys, you think Beaver.

My Favorite Martian

He's a man from Mars
on Earth to take a look
He can read your mind
just like an open book - Yes!

He's a man from Mars
and he's extremely clever
Brilliant & kind
in every endeavor - for instance

"any dog can hear me
on Mars or here
And don't get too near me
or I'll make you disappear!"

Notes: Once in a while, they'll play a sung version of this on The Howard Stern Show, as they call one of their crew (Mr. Fred Norris) the Man From Mars.

The Odd Couple

No matter where they go
They are known as the couple.
They're never seen alone
So they're known as the couple.

As I've indicated
They are never quite separated,
They are peas in a pod.
Don't you think that it's odd.

Their habits, I confess
None can guess with the couple.
If one says no it's yes
more or less, with the couple.

But they're laugh provoking;
Yet they really don't know they're joking.
Don't you find
When love is blind
It's kind of odd.

Notes: A little homosexual undertones in these lyrics, eh?

Star Trek

Beyond the rim of the starlight,
my love is wandring in star flight.
I know he'll find
In star clustered reaches
Love, strange love
A starwoman teaches.

I know his journey ends never.
His Star Trek will go on forever.
But tell him while
He wanders his starry sea,
Remember,
Remember me.

Notes: Gene Roddenberry (the creator of the show) wrote these "never to be used" lyrics, so he can get half the royalties of the theme song. These also may be the worst theme song lyrics ever written. Yes, worse than My Mother the Car.

Buck Rogers

Far beyond the world I've known, Far beyond my time
What am I, who am I, what will I be? Where am I going, and what will I see?

Notes: These lyrics can be heard at the end credits of the original theatrical release of Buck Rogers. In re-runs, it can be heard for the first three episodes.

The Munsters

When you are walking down the street at night
And behind you there's no one in view.
But you hear mysterious feet at night,
Then the Munsters are following you.

If you should meet this strange family
Just forget what some people have said,
The Munsters may shake your hand clammily
But they're not necessarily dead.

Behind their house you mustn't be afraid
To see a figure digging with a spade.
Perhaps someone didn't quite make the grade
With the Munsters, with the Munsters.

If when you're sleeping you dream a lot,
Ghoulish nightmares parade through your head,
And then you wake up and scream a lot,
Oh the Munsters are under your bed.

At midnight if creatures should prowl about,
And if vampires and vultures swoop down.
And werewolves and fiends shriek and howl about,
Oh the Munsters are out on the town.

One night I dared peak through their window screen,
My hair turned white at such a crazy scene.
Because every evening its Halloween
At the Munsters,
At the Munsters.

Notes: I'm scared!

Hawaii 5-0

If you get in trouble, bring it home to me
Whether I am near you, or across the sea.
I will think of something to do.
I'll be on the lookout for you.
And I'll find you — you can count on me.

Notes: I will find you!

M*A*S*H*

Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see . . .
That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make all our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate but now I know that it's too late,

and . . .That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

The game of life is hard to play. I'm gonna lose it anyway.

The losing card I'll someday lay so this is all I have to say.

That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

The only way to win is cheat and lay it down before I'm beat,

and to another give my seat for that's the only painless feat.

That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

The sword of time will pierce our skins it doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in the pain grows stronger . . . watch it grin, but . . .
That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

A brave man once requested me to answer questions that are key
'Is it to be or not to be' and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
That suicide is painless it brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
And you can do the same thing if you choose.

Notes: Can be heard in the movie M*A*S*H*

The Flying Nun

Who needs wings to fly?
Certainly not I,
I prefer to take up on the breeze,
Follow any swallow that may please my fancy.

I just close my eyes,
Tiptoe through the skies,
Long as there's a habit standing by,
Who needs things like wings to fly?

Notes: Wouldn't it be awesome if Godzilla Zapped the nun out of the sky?

The Dick Van Dyke Show

So you think that you've got trouble?
Well, trouble's a bubble,
So tell old Mr. Trouble to get lost.

Why not hold your head up high and,
Stop cryin', start tryin',
And don't forget to keep your fingers crossed.

When you find the joy of livin'
Is lovin' and givin'
You'll be there when the winning dice are tossed.

A smile is just a frown that's turned upside down,
So smile, and that frown will defrost.
And don't forget to keep your fingers crossed

Notes: Dick Van Dyke sang this once during the TVLand awards.

I hope you enjoyed these. If you know of any others, please let me know.