12 Movie Sequels That Almost Ruined Their Franchises

Hollywood has to make a buck, so when a movie is a huge money maker, they run right out & make a sequel. Sometimes the sequels work & in a few cases, they are even better than the original. But, more often than not, they stink. The following is a list of sequels that stink. I mean they really stink, especially when compared to the original movie. In fact, they stink so bad, they almost ruin the original movie. In no particular order:

M.I.B. II
Took too long to get back into it. The characters that were already introduced, have to be re-introduced & it's total boredom. Then, when they finally get going, the story is so stupid, we don't give a shit.

Matrix Revolution & Reloaded
"Yes, Mr. Architect, we get it. Yes, I'm sure, we get it. Yes. Yes. I know. Yes, I know. Okay, you don't have to start over. Nooooooooooooooooo!!!"

Alien 3
Not only do I not care if a bunch of criminals get killed, but it's by a dog-alien. Woopeee! As exciting as watching paint peel.

Halloween 3
6 more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. 6 more days 'til Halloween, stupid movie. Killer Halloween masks. Oh, I'm so scared.

Jurassic Park 2
The first book Jurassic Park was great, but Spielberg actually improved it with the first movie. The second book was just as great as the first one. But somehow, Spielberg fucked it all up. All I had to see was that girl kick the raptor & I lost any ounce of hope I had for this movie.

Ghost Busters 2
Wow! The first movie was a gem, a classic. But when the Statue of Liberty grew joints & started to walk, I literally threw up in my mouth. Speaking of joints, Dan Aykroyd must have been smoking a few when he wrote this clunker.

The Exorcist 2
Holy shit! Bugs, James Earl Jones & African music....for 2 hours. Nuff said.

Mission: Impossible II
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. If I had to stare at that girl's eyes bulging out of her head much longer, I would have gone insane, just like her.

Austin Powers: Goldmember
"I love gooooooooold!" Yeah, and I like funny movies. This one isn't.

Smokey & the Bandit 3
"Okay guys, let's take the best character from the first 2 movies & give him his own movie. It'll work. Nah, who cares if we actually give him a story that's funny. It doesn't matter!"

Godfather Part 3
When you can actually laugh at family tragedy, you know the movie sucks.

Speed 2
"3 knots!"...........................................
.....................................................
"2 knots!"...........................................
.....................................................
.....................................................
"1 and a half knots!"................................
And 1 fucking knot in my stomach. Horrendous.

10 Sexiest Female Cartoon Characters

10. Red Hot Riding Hood: Droopy cartoons

She may have been the first animated woman to give men wood. Her movements were so perfect & sexy that many people thought it was an actual woman who was roto-scoped (animation was drawn over the actual film), but she wasn't. As a kid, I could care less. But as a man, I now know why the wolf went crazy for her.

9. Harley Quinn: Batman TAS

Clowns scare some people. But even those people take one look at Harley & melt. Nothing sexier than a girl wearing a full body spandex outfit. Her voice is of a dumb blonde, but she's not as dumb as she seems. Well, her boyfriend is the Joker, so maybe I spoke too soon. In any case, she's one mean bitch, but then again, who isn't?

8. Jun (Aka Princess from "Battle of the Planets"): Gatchaman

My first glimpse of anime women came in the form of a woman dressed as a bird. She had a very slender athletic build & a small chest. But she also had those "fuck-me" crotch high boots. Her eyes were gorgeously huge & she could kick ass too.

7. Baroness: G.I. Joe

Sure, she was the bad guy, but I would let her tie me up any day. Baroness had a sexy Russian accent too, which made you think she knew what to do in bed. Plus, those glasses were so damn sexy. Her body was knock-out perfect & her skin-tight outfit hugged every inch of it.

6. Elasti-Girl: The Incredibles

She could stretch her body into any form you wanted. But even in her "relaxed" state, she had a nice round ass & a waist so thin, you could wrap your hands around it.

5. Dr. Girlfriend: The Venture Brothers

Alright, look at the picture. Now picture that hot girl with the hot body to have a man's voice. And I mean a man who not only sounds like he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day, but ate the butts too. I don't know how, but it works. She's damn sexy.

4. Cheetara: Thundercats

She's the ultimate Catwoman, because she's a cat. She has the body of an athlete, but with a nice rack to boot. She was also an expert fighter & able to hold her own against the biggest male adversaries.

3. Josie & the Pussycats: Josie & the Pussycats (& Josie in Outer Space)

More cats. Yes, cats are sexy. Or at least when girls dress as cats, they are. We waited years to see real girls dress in these cat outfits. And when they finally make a live-action film, they don't wear the outfits. Stupid fucks in Hollywood. In any case, Melody is the one to fuck first....and forth....and seventh.

2. Priss: Bubblegum Crisis / Bubblegum Crash

Priss is a popular singer. Think of her having Madonna's popularity, but actually having the talent to sing too. By night, she's a member of the vigilante team, the Knight Sabers. She wears this outfit

for a few reasons:
1) To disguise herself
2) The suit enhances her body, giving her strength & agility
3) It protects her
4) It has weapons
5) Because it's sexy
I like the last reason best.

1. Jessica Rabbit: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Do I even have to comment here? She was made to be the sexiest cartoon character. They based her a bit on Red Hot Riding Hood & then just made her amazing. I have a friend who admits to masturbating over her. Sure, he's now in a mental institution, but that doesn't mean anything. Right?

The 10 Best Cartoon Bad Guys of All Time.

10. Boris Badenov - The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show

Shaddup you mouth!

Never in the history of cartoons has there been a character so happy to be evil than Boris Badenov. Along with his sidekick, the almost as evil (and somehow strangely sexy), Natasha Fatale, Boris did everything he could to make Moose & Squirrel's life a living hell. He obviously hated America & everything to do with it. But, he also hated his own country of Pottsylvania & did his best to avoid going there whenever possible.

9. Berg Katse - Gatchaman

The original sex change artist

Also known as Zoltar in "Battle of the Planets" & Galactor in "G-Force".
Berg Katse is the leader of Galactor (that was the name of the organization in the original version), an evil alien race, determined to rule the Earth. What set Berg apart from the other alien bad guys, is he was a shape-shifting sex-changer. Yes, sometimes he was a man & sometimes he was a woman! The English versions explain this by saying it was two different people, Zoltar & his sister. Although, even as I kid, I figured out they were one & the same. Although I thought he was just a woman, dressed like a man. Little did I know what screwy heads the Japanese had with their characters. Considering Berg had to deal with the fact that sometimes he had a cock & sometimes not, I have to give him credit that he was able to do as well as he did running the whole show.

8. Cobra Commander - G.I. Joe

COBRA!

Cobra Commander is leader of Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world! Kind of like Galactor, but Earthbound. And Cobra's ideas to take over the world were so crazy, that aliens from another world were like, "That's some crazy shit, Cobra!" He always hid his face, either behind a hood, with eye holes, or a helmet with a mirrored front. Somehow, this mirrored face didn't reflect anything. It was Cobra Commander's voice that was the star of the show though. It was raspy & lispy & when he spoke, you listened. Cobra Commander was such a great character, that he even appeared in another cartoon, "The Transformers", which obviously took place years after Cobra was disbanded, as he was pretty much alone. As far as we know, Cobra Commander is still out there, biding his time. Mwahaha! COBRA!

7. General Grievous - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Kick ass cyborg!

Appearing in the 2nd "season" of the animated Star Wars tale, that takes place between Episodes 2 & 3, Grievous stood out as one mean mother fucker. He killed almost all the Jedi, BY HIMSELF! He stood taller than the Jedis & had 4 arms, which meant, 4 fucking light sabers! He was so cool, that George Lucas said, "He's cooler than any character I ever came up with. Let's put him in the next movie!" Of course, Lucas turned him into a smaller Cyborg with an exposed heart, which was easily shot by a blaster. But, for a small shining moment, in the animated series, Grievous kicked so much alien ass, that Galactor was looking to hire him.

6. The Legion of Doom - Superfriends

It's almost like they know the camera is in the room!

Yes, I know this is a team of Super-villains, but they moved as one. Actually, they pretty much never moved as one. But, that didn't matter either. The LoD had a much cooler HQ than the Superfriends ever had. Their HQ would rise up out of a swamp. And inside, it was just a table that fit all members of the LoD. Their leader was Lex Luthor, the mastermind. They also had Bizarro, Black Manta, Riddler, Giganta, Sinestro, Cheetah, Solomon Grundy, the Scarecrow, Brainiac, Captain Cold, Gorilla Grodd, & the Toyman. Alone, these bad guys kind of sucked, but together....Watch out!!! Actually, they kind of sucked together too. But the name, the name!!! Legion of DOOOOOOM!!!

5. Dishonest John - Beany & Cecil

NYA HA HA!

You know why Dishonest John deserves to be on this list? Because his name was Dishonest John & he was still able to con people (and sea serpents). He had the word "dishonest" sitting there for all to see. But it didn't matter! Nya Ha Ha!!

4. Megatron - The Transformers

Hey Starscream! Wax my ass!

If you could put evil into a robot & then boost up the evil to 11, that was Megatron. He could give two shits about human life. He was all about getting energy & didn't care who or what was in his way. He even treated his own soldiers like shit. He also transformed into the stupidest form, a gun, that only worked if someone shot it for him. It didn't matter. They were all scared of him, the good, the bad, didn't matter. Megatron was Megacool!

3. Bluto - Popeye cartoons

This big mumbling fool was all muscle. It seemed Bluto was only there for one reason, to cock-block Popeye into nailing Olive. And it worked too, because Popeye & Olive never did it. Bluto didn't need any spinach to kick the shit out of Popeye either. He could walk through walls, bend steel bars with his teeth, & toss Popeye a block away. He shaved with a razor so nicked, that a normal man would have bled to death using it on his face. And when he shaved, he had a full beard. The only questionable thing was why was he such a prick to Popeye? Bah, no matter! Bluto is one mean sumamabitch!

2. Joker - Batman: The Animated Series

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The Clown Prince of Crime! Never mind the Calypso Joker from the 60s, or even the smeary faced dude from the new Batman movie, the Joker from Batman: TAS has them all beat. He is truly maniacal & crazy. Just see him interact with his one true "love" Harley Quinn. He could care less about her, or does he? His plans are diabolical & over-the-top! He's scary, funny, & evil to the core.

1. Venger - Dungeons & Dragons

The Force of Evil!

Talk about evil. This guy wants to kill kids! His father is Dungeon Master, the creator of the Realm of Dungeons & Dragons. Does Venger care? Fuck no! Dungeon Master protects the kids. Does Venger care? Fuck no! The only thing Venger is scared of is a 3 headed dragon, that is about 90 feet tall. It's the only thing that scares him! And I bet even that never made Venger shit his pants. All the kids wanted to do was get back home, but Venger said, "No way little fucks!" and ruined their chances time & time again. Fucking with kids is evil to the core & that's all Venger did. He is truly the champ of cartoon bad guys.