Hello Cleveland! Rock n Roll!!!

The Top 10 Music list. Let's face it, today's music pretty much sucks, which is why when we see a list of the best singers, best guitarists, best drummer, etc... it's chock full of people from the 60s & 70s. This list will be no different. Here are MY Top 10 lists of the greatest in music of all time.

Top 10 bands.

The Beatles

10. The Eagles
9. The Rolling Stones
8. ZZ Top
7. The Doors
6. Creedence Clearwater Revivial
5. AC/DC
4. The Who
3. Led Zeppelin
2. Electric Light Orchestra
1. The Beatles

Top 10 guitarists.

Stevie Ray Vaughn

10. Dickie Betts - Duane Allman: The Allman Brothers Band
9. Billy Gibbons: ZZ Top
8. Brian May: Queen
7. Chuck Berry: solo
6. Joe Walsh: The Eagles, The James Gang
5. Rictchie Blackmore: Deep Purple
4. Angus Young: AC/DC
3. Eric Clapton: Yardbirds, Bluesbreakers Cream, Derek & the Dominos, Blind Faith, solo
2. Jimi Hendrix: The Jimi Hendrix Experience
1. Stevie Ray Vaughn: Double Trouble

Top 10 drummers

Gene Krupa

10. Ringo Starr: The Beatles
9. Simon Phillips: Toto, session drummer
8. Ginger Baker: Cream
7. Ian Paice: Deep Purple
6. Neil Peart: Rush
5. Mitch Mitchell: The Jimi Hendrix Experience
4. Nicko McBrain: Iron Maiden
3. John Bonham: Led Zeppelin
2. Keith Moon: The Who
1. Gene Krupa: Benny Goodman

Top 10 bass guitarists

John Entwistle

10. Cliff Burton: Metallica
9. Geddy Lee: Rush
8. John Taylor: Duran Duran
7. Donald "Duck" Dunn: Sam & Dave, Blues Brothers, Eric Clapton
6. Geezer Butler: Black Sabbath
5. Steve Harris: Iron Maiden
4. Paul McCartney: The Beatles
3. John Paul Jones: Led Zeppelin
2. Jack Bruce: Cream
1. John Entwistle: The Who

Top 10 keyboardists/pianists

Elton John

10. Chris Stanton: Eric Clapton, Joe Cocker
9. Jon Lord: Deep Purple
8. Gregg Allman: The Allman Brothers Band
7. Billy Preston: solo, The Beatles
6. Johnny Johnson: Chuck Berry
5. Ray Manzarek: The Doors
4. Ray Charles: solo
3. Billy Joel: solo
2. John Paul Jones: Led Zeppelin
1. Elton John: solo

Top 10 male vocalists

Bon Scott

10. Steve Perry: Journey
9. John Fogerty: Creedence Clearwater Revival, solo
8. Meat Loaf: solo
7. Eric Burdon: The Animals, War
6. Bruce Dickerson: Iron Maiden
5. Freddie Mercury: Queen
4. Jim Morrison: The Doors
3. Roger Daltry: The Who
2. Paul Rodgers: Free, Bad Company, Queen
1. Bon Scott: AC/DC

Top 10 female vocalists

Stevie Nicks

10. Dusty Springfield: solo
9. Olivia Newton-John: solo
8. Gladys Knight: and the Pips
7. Grace Slick: Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Starship, solo
6. Tina Turner: Ike & Tina Turner, solo
5. Linda Ronstadt: solo
4. Donna Summer: solo
3. Karen Carpenter: The Carpenters
2. Anne Wilson: Heart
1. Stevie Nicks: Fleetwood Mac, solo

Top 10 albums

Rubber Soul

10. Are You Experienced?: Jimi Hendrix
9. Bat Out of Hell: Meat Loaf
8. Machine Head: Deep Purple
7. Out of the Blue: Electric Light Orchestra
6. Who's Next: The Who
5. Led Zeppelin II: Led Zeppelin
4. Rumours: Fleetwood Mac
3. Abbey Road: The Beatles
2. Back in Black: AC/DC
1. Rubber Soul: The Beatles

Top 10 "live" albums

If You Want Blood, You Got It

10. Live at Fillmore: The Allman Brothers
9. Premonition: John Fogerty
8. Eagles Live: The Eagles
7. Frampton Comes Alive: Peter Frampton
6. Absolutely Live: The Doors
5. Live at Leeds: The Who
4. Cream Live, Vol. 1: Cream
3. Made in Japan: Deep Purple
2. Live After Death: Iron Maiden
1. If You Want Blood, You Got It: AC/DC

Top 10 song writers

John Lennon

10. Bob Segar
9. Elton John
8. Billy Joel
7. Barry Gibb
6. Pete Townshend
5. John Fogerty
4. George Harrison
3. Jeff Lynne
2. Paul McCartney
1. John Lennon

12 Movies they should make a sequel to

(In the low announcer voice)In a world where there are no more original ideas, there is a sea of shitty sequels. Since there's no stopping them, I would like them to make a few of movies I actually give a shit about. Here are some movies that I loved, or at least liked enough to want to see more. On each of these, I'm going to write a short idea of what I would like to see if they ever did make a sequel. Hopefully, some movie maker will see this list & get these done.

UPDATE 2019: Note how many of these got a sequel after I said they should. There are some in talks right now. Note that my ideas would have been better than what they wound up doing.

Tron
A video game creator named Flynn gets zapped into the computer world, where he helps a security program defeat an evil program.
I heard they are actually making a sequel, due out in 2011. The story is being kept under wraps, but here's what I would do.

What the sequel should be:
It's now many years later. Flynn now runs a huge video game company. We see some geeky hacker trying to get into Flynn's system to steal some ideas. Inside the computer world, we see Tron is still around. However, he's now been upgraded & spends his time fighting computer viruses (with a bunch of cool fighting scenes). Tron can now transform his body & he now has many more gadgets than just his frisbee. He hears about the hacker's "program" & tries to intercept him. But, the hacker's guy kicks the shit out of Tron & attacks Flynn's computer. Other programs in the system see that Tron has been taken out. A small group of other programs that have nothing to do with security, band together to attack the hacker's program before he makes it back to the hacker's computer with the information. of course, they stop him. To celebrate, Flynn's newest game is about this band of programs.

The Last Starfighter
Alex Rogan, a kid from Earth beats a video game. He is recruited by a group of aliens to fight against an evil armada. Naturally, he wins.

What the sequel should be:
The Kodan armada is pissed at Alex Rogan. The good news for the bad guys, is now they know about Earth. So, they decide to attack Earth & they do it successfully or at least partially. They take over California & set up a base there. All efforts to attack them end in vain. The Kodan slowly start to move across the United States. Meanwhile, Alex & Grig, who have been training a new group of Starfighters, is oblivious to the fact that Earth is in trouble. Louis, Alex's brother who is now in his 20s, is able to break into one of the Kodan's base with a group around his age, to send a message to Alex. Alex & the Starfighters take off toward Earth. They start attacking the Kodan base. But, the base is protected by a shield. When all seems lost, Louis & his group join the fight by destroying the shield from inside, and even stealing a few Kodan ships. Naturally, Earth wins.

Van Helsing
What if James Bond was a monster hunter? That's basically it. Van Helsing kills some of movie's greatest monsters.

What the sequel should be:
Basically more of the same, but with more Kate Beckinsdale in tight clothing. The Frankenstein's Monster is reborn. But, this time the Monster is truly evil. He's on a rampage, killing villagers left & right, & destroying things like an unstoppable Juggernaut. The strange thing is that the dead villagers are returning from the dead as zombies. The Monster is able to control these zombies & uses them as his own personal army. Van Helsing & Anna (Beckinsdale in tight clothing), are able to find the Monster (after killing 200+ zombies & the Creature From the Black Lagoon) & they find out that his body is inhabited with the "soul" of Dracula. But, that's not even the big secret of the movie. The person behind the whole thing is an evil scientist. When Drac/Monster realizes he's being played a fool, he joins Van Helsing in stopping the scientist. At the end, the Monster destroys himself....supposedly. Mwahahaha!

The Thing
A shape shifting alien takes over a group of people living in the Arctic, killing them.

Yeah, I want to see more of this ugly thing!

What the sequel should be:
The Thing makes it to South America, where he tries to replace a small village. The monster would be much cooler as it would be able to take the form of or parts of different animals. The village fights back against the alien, & seems to win. But, a small part of the alien makes its way onto a plane headed towards New York.

The Incredibles
A family of superheroes comes out of hiding & stops a bad guy's plot.

What the sequel should be:
The Incredible kids are grown up now. Violet is now married & has a child. Dash is a ladies man, but has a regular girlfriend now. Jack is all grown up & moved out. In the news there are stories of a group of super powered villains doing evil deeds & robbing ancient artifacts. The Incredibles investigate, but can't figure out who's behind it. They think it's Jack behind the whole thing. It winds up that it's Violet's husband & Dash's girlfriend.

Beavis & Butthead Do America
The guys travel across the U.S. because they think they're gonna get laid. They wind up in a plot about a virus & the government chases them. They never get laid.

Huh huh!

What the sequel should be:
This is the story I told a guy from MTV, when he told me they were making a Beavis & Butthead movie & they couldn't think of anything. The guys find out that prostitution is legal, so they travel across the U.S. because they think they're gonna get laid. They get caught up in a plot where the government chases them. They never get laid.
In any case, these guys need to be back on the big screen.

Deep Rising
A monster attacks a giant cruise ship. 3 people kill the monster & escape to an island. Apparently on the island, there are more monsters.

What now?!

What the sequel should be:
Just pick the movie up where it left off. These guys are on the island & there's some giant monster. The 3 use the island's resources to kill the monster. Simple, yet entertaining.

Galaxy Quest
Old "Star Trek" actors wind up being recruited by real aliens into fighting a war for them.

What the sequel should be:
The group's show is a big hit, but weird things start happening on the set. Things that could only happen with alien technology. The cast starts to disappear. A secondary character from the show is in cahoots with an alien in a plot to get rid of the actors, so he can become the star. A "Quester" fan rescues the group & becomes a member of the show.

History of the World Part 1
A comedy set in different times in human history.

Groovis!

What the sequel should be:
JEWS IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!!! Although Mel Brooks never meant for the "preview of part 2" scenes to ever be made, I think they should be done as well as a few full-length scenes.

Time Bandits
A bunch of time-traveling little people go around stealing stuff.

4 foot 1!

What the sequel should be:
They are still going around stealing, but it seems that someone is beating them to the punch. They chase the unknown thief through time. When they catch up to him, they find out that it's Kevin, the kid from the first movie, who's now an adult. He spent his life trying to replicate the map & finally does. The Supreme Being shows up to put a stop to it all, destroying both maps, leaving Kevin & the Bandits stranded somewhere in time. But, the world starts to change for the worse. They find out that the Evil Genius has his own map & is traveling around changing history & making the Earth a literal Hell on Earth. The Bandits & Kevin find a crazy man, who has a theory about time portals & helps them to find the portal to the Evil Genius' fortress. They stop the Evil Genius & as a reward, the Supreme Being gives the group a map to "The Most Fabulous Object in the World".

Titan A.E.
The Earth is blown up by aliens. An Earthling named Cale travels in space to find a spaceship that can "create" a new world. He destroys the evil aliens & creates a new world.

What the sequel should be:
Everything seems to be going well on the new Earth, but the weather starts to change for the worst. Earthquakes, hurricanes, severe lightning storms, snow storms, the works. They can't figure our what's wrong with the planet, but Cale's son & his friends find out that some industrialist is drilling deep under ground & causing instability around the planet. They get a band together & venture into the planet's core to shut down the operation. But is it too late? Ask Al Gore.

Undercover Brother
A spy spoof about a black secret agent.

Get me Undercover Brother!

What the sequel should be:
A spy spoof about a black secret agent. No need to revamp Undercover Brother. He's fine just the way he is.

12 Movie Sequels That Almost Ruined Their Franchises

Hollywood has to make a buck, so when a movie is a huge money maker, they run right out & make a sequel. Sometimes the sequels work & in a few cases, they are even better than the original. But, more often than not, they stink. The following is a list of sequels that stink. I mean they really stink, especially when compared to the original movie. In fact, they stink so bad, they almost ruin the original movie. In no particular order:

M.I.B. II
Took too long to get back into it. The characters that were already introduced, have to be re-introduced & it's total boredom. Then, when they finally get going, the story is so stupid, we don't give a shit.

Matrix Revolution & Reloaded
"Yes, Mr. Architect, we get it. Yes, I'm sure, we get it. Yes. Yes. I know. Yes, I know. Okay, you don't have to start over. Nooooooooooooooooo!!!"

Alien 3
Not only do I not care if a bunch of criminals get killed, but it's by a dog-alien. Woopeee! As exciting as watching paint peel.

Halloween 3
6 more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. 6 more days 'til Halloween, stupid movie. Killer Halloween masks. Oh, I'm so scared.

Jurassic Park 2
The first book Jurassic Park was great, but Spielberg actually improved it with the first movie. The second book was just as great as the first one. But somehow, Spielberg fucked it all up. All I had to see was that girl kick the raptor & I lost any ounce of hope I had for this movie.

Ghost Busters 2
Wow! The first movie was a gem, a classic. But when the Statue of Liberty grew joints & started to walk, I literally threw up in my mouth. Speaking of joints, Dan Aykroyd must have been smoking a few when he wrote this clunker.

The Exorcist 2
Holy shit! Bugs, James Earl Jones & African music....for 2 hours. Nuff said.

Mission: Impossible II
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. If I had to stare at that girl's eyes bulging out of her head much longer, I would have gone insane, just like her.

Austin Powers: Goldmember
"I love gooooooooold!" Yeah, and I like funny movies. This one isn't.

Smokey & the Bandit 3
"Okay guys, let's take the best character from the first 2 movies & give him his own movie. It'll work. Nah, who cares if we actually give him a story that's funny. It doesn't matter!"

Godfather Part 3
When you can actually laugh at family tragedy, you know the movie sucks.

Speed 2
"3 knots!"...........................................
.....................................................
"2 knots!"...........................................
.....................................................
.....................................................
"1 and a half knots!"................................
And 1 fucking knot in my stomach. Horrendous.

10 Sexiest Female Cartoon Characters

10. Red Hot Riding Hood: Droopy cartoons

She may have been the first animated woman to give men wood. Her movements were so perfect & sexy that many people thought it was an actual woman who was roto-scoped (animation was drawn over the actual film), but she wasn't. As a kid, I could care less. But as a man, I now know why the wolf went crazy for her.

9. Harley Quinn: Batman TAS

Clowns scare some people. But even those people take one look at Harley & melt. Nothing sexier than a girl wearing a full body spandex outfit. Her voice is of a dumb blonde, but she's not as dumb as she seems. Well, her boyfriend is the Joker, so maybe I spoke too soon. In any case, she's one mean bitch, but then again, who isn't?

8. Jun (Aka Princess from "Battle of the Planets"): Gatchaman

My first glimpse of anime women came in the form of a woman dressed as a bird. She had a very slender athletic build & a small chest. But she also had those "fuck-me" crotch high boots. Her eyes were gorgeously huge & she could kick ass too.

7. Baroness: G.I. Joe

Sure, she was the bad guy, but I would let her tie me up any day. Baroness had a sexy Russian accent too, which made you think she knew what to do in bed. Plus, those glasses were so damn sexy. Her body was knock-out perfect & her skin-tight outfit hugged every inch of it.

6. Elasti-Girl: The Incredibles

She could stretch her body into any form you wanted. But even in her "relaxed" state, she had a nice round ass & a waist so thin, you could wrap your hands around it.

5. Dr. Girlfriend: The Venture Brothers

Alright, look at the picture. Now picture that hot girl with the hot body to have a man's voice. And I mean a man who not only sounds like he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day, but ate the butts too. I don't know how, but it works. She's damn sexy.

4. Cheetara: Thundercats

She's the ultimate Catwoman, because she's a cat. She has the body of an athlete, but with a nice rack to boot. She was also an expert fighter & able to hold her own against the biggest male adversaries.

3. Josie & the Pussycats: Josie & the Pussycats (& Josie in Outer Space)

More cats. Yes, cats are sexy. Or at least when girls dress as cats, they are. We waited years to see real girls dress in these cat outfits. And when they finally make a live-action film, they don't wear the outfits. Stupid fucks in Hollywood. In any case, Melody is the one to fuck first....and forth....and seventh.

2. Priss: Bubblegum Crisis / Bubblegum Crash

Priss is a popular singer. Think of her having Madonna's popularity, but actually having the talent to sing too. By night, she's a member of the vigilante team, the Knight Sabers. She wears this outfit

for a few reasons:
1) To disguise herself
2) The suit enhances her body, giving her strength & agility
3) It protects her
4) It has weapons
5) Because it's sexy
I like the last reason best.

1. Jessica Rabbit: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Do I even have to comment here? She was made to be the sexiest cartoon character. They based her a bit on Red Hot Riding Hood & then just made her amazing. I have a friend who admits to masturbating over her. Sure, he's now in a mental institution, but that doesn't mean anything. Right?

The 10 Best Cartoon Bad Guys of All Time.

10. Boris Badenov - The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show

Shaddup you mouth!

Never in the history of cartoons has there been a character so happy to be evil than Boris Badenov. Along with his sidekick, the almost as evil (and somehow strangely sexy), Natasha Fatale, Boris did everything he could to make Moose & Squirrel's life a living hell. He obviously hated America & everything to do with it. But, he also hated his own country of Pottsylvania & did his best to avoid going there whenever possible.

9. Berg Katse - Gatchaman

The original sex change artist

Also known as Zoltar in "Battle of the Planets" & Galactor in "G-Force".
Berg Katse is the leader of Galactor (that was the name of the organization in the original version), an evil alien race, determined to rule the Earth. What set Berg apart from the other alien bad guys, is he was a shape-shifting sex-changer. Yes, sometimes he was a man & sometimes he was a woman! The English versions explain this by saying it was two different people, Zoltar & his sister. Although, even as I kid, I figured out they were one & the same. Although I thought he was just a woman, dressed like a man. Little did I know what screwy heads the Japanese had with their characters. Considering Berg had to deal with the fact that sometimes he had a cock & sometimes not, I have to give him credit that he was able to do as well as he did running the whole show.

8. Cobra Commander - G.I. Joe

COBRA!

Cobra Commander is leader of Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world! Kind of like Galactor, but Earthbound. And Cobra's ideas to take over the world were so crazy, that aliens from another world were like, "That's some crazy shit, Cobra!" He always hid his face, either behind a hood, with eye holes, or a helmet with a mirrored front. Somehow, this mirrored face didn't reflect anything. It was Cobra Commander's voice that was the star of the show though. It was raspy & lispy & when he spoke, you listened. Cobra Commander was such a great character, that he even appeared in another cartoon, "The Transformers", which obviously took place years after Cobra was disbanded, as he was pretty much alone. As far as we know, Cobra Commander is still out there, biding his time. Mwahaha! COBRA!

7. General Grievous - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Kick ass cyborg!

Appearing in the 2nd "season" of the animated Star Wars tale, that takes place between Episodes 2 & 3, Grievous stood out as one mean mother fucker. He killed almost all the Jedi, BY HIMSELF! He stood taller than the Jedis & had 4 arms, which meant, 4 fucking light sabers! He was so cool, that George Lucas said, "He's cooler than any character I ever came up with. Let's put him in the next movie!" Of course, Lucas turned him into a smaller Cyborg with an exposed heart, which was easily shot by a blaster. But, for a small shining moment, in the animated series, Grievous kicked so much alien ass, that Galactor was looking to hire him.

6. The Legion of Doom - Superfriends

It's almost like they know the camera is in the room!

Yes, I know this is a team of Super-villains, but they moved as one. Actually, they pretty much never moved as one. But, that didn't matter either. The LoD had a much cooler HQ than the Superfriends ever had. Their HQ would rise up out of a swamp. And inside, it was just a table that fit all members of the LoD. Their leader was Lex Luthor, the mastermind. They also had Bizarro, Black Manta, Riddler, Giganta, Sinestro, Cheetah, Solomon Grundy, the Scarecrow, Brainiac, Captain Cold, Gorilla Grodd, & the Toyman. Alone, these bad guys kind of sucked, but together....Watch out!!! Actually, they kind of sucked together too. But the name, the name!!! Legion of DOOOOOOM!!!

5. Dishonest John - Beany & Cecil

NYA HA HA!

You know why Dishonest John deserves to be on this list? Because his name was Dishonest John & he was still able to con people (and sea serpents). He had the word "dishonest" sitting there for all to see. But it didn't matter! Nya Ha Ha!!

4. Megatron - The Transformers

Hey Starscream! Wax my ass!

If you could put evil into a robot & then boost up the evil to 11, that was Megatron. He could give two shits about human life. He was all about getting energy & didn't care who or what was in his way. He even treated his own soldiers like shit. He also transformed into the stupidest form, a gun, that only worked if someone shot it for him. It didn't matter. They were all scared of him, the good, the bad, didn't matter. Megatron was Megacool!

3. Bluto - Popeye cartoons

This big mumbling fool was all muscle. It seemed Bluto was only there for one reason, to cock-block Popeye into nailing Olive. And it worked too, because Popeye & Olive never did it. Bluto didn't need any spinach to kick the shit out of Popeye either. He could walk through walls, bend steel bars with his teeth, & toss Popeye a block away. He shaved with a razor so nicked, that a normal man would have bled to death using it on his face. And when he shaved, he had a full beard. The only questionable thing was why was he such a prick to Popeye? Bah, no matter! Bluto is one mean sumamabitch!

2. Joker - Batman: The Animated Series

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The Clown Prince of Crime! Never mind the Calypso Joker from the 60s, or even the smeary faced dude from the new Batman movie, the Joker from Batman: TAS has them all beat. He is truly maniacal & crazy. Just see him interact with his one true "love" Harley Quinn. He could care less about her, or does he? His plans are diabolical & over-the-top! He's scary, funny, & evil to the core.

1. Venger - Dungeons & Dragons

The Force of Evil!

Talk about evil. This guy wants to kill kids! His father is Dungeon Master, the creator of the Realm of Dungeons & Dragons. Does Venger care? Fuck no! Dungeon Master protects the kids. Does Venger care? Fuck no! The only thing Venger is scared of is a 3 headed dragon, that is about 90 feet tall. It's the only thing that scares him! And I bet even that never made Venger shit his pants. All the kids wanted to do was get back home, but Venger said, "No way little fucks!" and ruined their chances time & time again. Fucking with kids is evil to the core & that's all Venger did. He is truly the champ of cartoon bad guys.