Lupin the Third & his gang may be the coolest group you've ever seen. Let's start with Lupin, the master thief with the heart of gold. Always looking for a big score whether it's with valuables or with the women. Jigen, his best friend. So cool, he's a dead shot with any weapon, even though his eyes are always covered by his hat. Then we got Goemon, the samurai. His sword can cut through anything, but he has his honor to keep him in line. Finally, there's Fujiko. Is she a friend or foe? You never know, but she's just as good a thief as Lupin.
9. Goliath: Gargoyles
We all know that being cool is the only way that you can be purple & not have your ass kicked all over the place. Goliath is the leader of a bunch of Gargoyles that were turned to stone, only to return to life in the modern times. This man was cool. He even turned on human women. Rock on Goliath.
8. Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe
In the comics, Snake Eyes was the definition of cool. Mysterious, silent, a killer. True, in one episode of the TV series, Snake Eyes wore a dress. But, it was a disguise! I keep telling myself that, because otherwise, in the cartoon, Snake Eyes was a cool dude. He did what he had to do & saw it through without exemption. Yes, he did it his way. Most of the time, Snake Eyes would go off on his own to get the job done.
7. Afro Samurai: Afro Samurai
Silent, looking for revenge, smoking weed, killing all kinds of motherfuckers! Afro Samurai is one cool mutha fucka! Thought to just be a legend, Afro Samurai takes on all comers who try to take away his #2 headband & so far, nobody's been able to do it.
6. James T. Kirk: Star Trek the Animated Series
Alright, I know it's cheap taking a live-action character & using him on this list by using his crappy Filmation version, but Kirk is a cool fucker. And by fucker, I mean fucker. He fucked anything that moved. From green women to women with hair taller than the size of their heads. He didn't take shit from nobody either. He thought nothing of shoving a photon torpedo up your ass. No doubt Kirk makes this list.
5. Samurai Jack: Samurai Jack
Yes, another samurai. Samurai's are just cool. This one gets thrown into the future by an evil force known as Aku. In this future, Aku has taken over the world & so Jack has to fight all sorts of evil monsters, eventually getting to Aku himself. Of course, Jack's sword never breaks & can cut through everything & anything. Naturally, being a samurai, he uses his sword much more than his words, which is cool.
4. Batman: Batman the Animated Series
Not the shitty Filmation version, not the wimpy Tim Burton version, not the grunty boring Christian Bale version, but the version from Batman:The Animated Series. This Batman is cool. His voice is cool, his actions are cool. What else do you need? Nothing, that's what. Coolness in a cowl.
3. Racer X: Speed Racer
A race car driver who became a spy. He's so good at his job, that even his own family doesn't know who he is. A master of martial arts & the best driver in the world. Oh, did I mention he kills motherfuckers during these races? Yes he does....yes, he does.
2. Optimus Prime: The Transformers
He's a giant robot. He's a semi truck. He's the leader of a group of other robots that fight other giant robots. He has an axe, he has a gun. He kicks ass & he is cool. He's really not more than meets the eye. What you see is what you get. Coolness.
1. Brock Samson: The Venture Brothers
Take Race from the Jonny Quest show. Give him a mullet. Give him a knife. Give him cigarettes. Then, make him the most kick-ass character in cartoon history. You got Brock Samson. Basically, he babysits two little wimps. He always winds up like this....
And he's happy doing it.
